Unexpectedly affected

“Well just so you know, what you do for us is really appreciated.”  This was said by Mark my favorite used car manager ever yesterday.  Maybe it was because I had a difficult week last week, but I was suprisingly affected by his “throw away” comment of appreciation.  Later that night at a class at Church I was further encouraged by an older married brother, “You don’t know how much I look up to you in your faith during this time…”  “No man is an island”, but I’ve felt like one for the last three months.  I go to work and work…alone.  I come home to my apartment and spend my nights…alone.  I really wonder if anyone I know knows just what it feels like to HAVE to rely on yourself.  Of course there’s God and I feel I’ve grown in pressing into faith with Him, but still it’s just me.  That’s not to say I havn’t been involved in my local church.  On the contrary, caregroup, worship team, singles meetings, classes etc…  My calandar is full of church.  Which has lead me to a wondering question.  Is the church serving me too much?  Am I being offered meeting after meeting, after class, after serving opportunity, after worship service where the “fellowship” is considered caring because it’s just presumed that given this many events relationships HAVE to go beyond casual?  Or is it in fact counterproductive?  Maybe it’s just me.  Interesting bit bout me: In bootcamp I loved having to do Firewatch.  Now for those who don’t know Firewatch was where you got woken up in the middle of the night to stand duty in the barracks.  You would think that giving up an hour of precious sleep would be a chore but for me it was a welcome respite.  Finally it was quiet.  For the first time in a while I could think and process.  I don’t wonder however if the Church needs to look to offer “Firewatch” times for certain groups of individuals.  Mainly I’m thinking of singles.  It’s easy for a church to flood a singles calandar with events, serving, and meetings presuming that real fellowship is taking place.  However too often all that is happening is that singles are just going to one surface level experience to the next simply because there isn’t time or we’re exhausted.  Real relationship, real connection simply doesn’t happen.  So we press on trying to be satisfied with the surface “friends” we see several times a week but we don’t really know and can only casually care about.  At the same time we become contented with others having a casual intrest and care in our own lives.  As much as I’m encourged that I am actually affecting and encouraging those around me , I’ve never felt so disconnected while at the same time so involved.  And I don’t think it’s just me.

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